The. Box.

I have been thinking a lot lately of the box of clothes that is sitting..lonely...in my closet. Mostly because we are moving in a couple of weeks and also because it depresses me that I still cannot wear them. They are my pre-marriage, pre-pregnancy clothes. I want so badly to be able to wear them. And at this point it has been so long since I have been able to that it iwll be like getting an entirely new wardrobe and who doesn't want that? But upon looking through these clothes a couple of weeks ago I also found my pre-pregnancy, pre-marriage box of unmentionables! It struck me that it is a little strange to be keeping old underwear! But I just can't bring myself to get rid of my 'sexy things'. From the time when I was thin and could be 'sexy' all the time with out even putting a lot of effort in. Now it is a whole big production....but that is another blog post lol.

It also made me realize a lot of people don't put a lot of thought into underwear when it comes to gaining a lot of weight. Or losing it! I know that I certainly didn't. I was very surprised after I had my son and tried to go back to my chongs (I really don't like the word thongs...it makes me thing of sticky dirty looking women...) to find that they didn't fit! I had to go out and buy larger underpants. But it wasn't only buying a larger size either. My new weight distribution just doens't work well with that...well that small amount of fabric! I work with a girl that 'just doesn't think it is right NOT to wear chongs ever and that anyone that doesn't wear them is just wrong. And while I love her I just have to think to myself...'Oh to be skinny again and think that my ass is going to stay the same shape for the rest of my life...'

These are really just random thoughts but when I was a cute thin girl I don't think I ever thought I would have a box of underwear in my closet that I can't wear and be wearing underwear that didn't make me feel randomly sexy or that matches my bra for that matter. I would have thought it was craziness too. Now I am all about comfort for my booty.

Back to the boxes though. I am so sad that I am moving this box with me. I should be giving away my fat clothes and unpacking my skinny jeans! I am not there yet though. I feel sometimes that along with boxing up my skinny clothes I boxed up a part of me...my self esteem and my random sexiness. I want that back. So I will continue working out...creating good life habits so that I can one day pull those sexy things and skinny things out of the box and enjoy them once again.