Affirmation for today.../...Weigh In

I AM A HEALTHY, RADIANT MOTHER.

MY LIFE IS BALANCED, ORGANIZED AND FILLED WITH JOY.

        I AM BLESSED WITH EMPLOYMENT THAT ALLOWS ME TO PROVIDE
FOR MY FAMILY.

I AM A LOVING, CARING AND GIVING FRIEND, WIFE & MOTHER.

I AM GIVING RAIN.

Weigh In for today: 184lbs

CoUnTiNg CaLoRiEs...

I am back to counting calories. I know you are probably thinking what I am thinking UGH! But I like counting calories for a couple of weeks. It helps we weed out all of the bad stuff until eventually I can just eat good things and it isn't soooo hard. Gets me used to looking at labels which I think is one of the best things you can do when changing eating habits. Those labels do not lie like your brain does when it is telling you to just keep eating eating eating. Those labels will tell you exactly how it is.

Also one thing that I believe is helping me is Oliver! On top of being adorable and me just wanting to keep up with him...he has started to eat table food and I am not going to be feeding him just anything. He will have all the proper nutrition which means so will Billy and I.

So here is to keeping the count!

Cheers!

The. Box.

I have been thinking a lot lately of the box of clothes that is sitting..lonely...in my closet. Mostly because we are moving in a couple of weeks and also because it depresses me that I still cannot wear them. They are my pre-marriage, pre-pregnancy clothes. I want so badly to be able to wear them. And at this point it has been so long since I have been able to that it iwll be like getting an entirely new wardrobe and who doesn't want that? But upon looking through these clothes a couple of weeks ago I also found my pre-pregnancy, pre-marriage box of unmentionables! It struck me that it is a little strange to be keeping old underwear! But I just can't bring myself to get rid of my 'sexy things'. From the time when I was thin and could be 'sexy' all the time with out even putting a lot of effort in. Now it is a whole big production....but that is another blog post lol.

It also made me realize a lot of people don't put a lot of thought into underwear when it comes to gaining a lot of weight. Or losing it! I know that I certainly didn't. I was very surprised after I had my son and tried to go back to my chongs (I really don't like the word thongs...it makes me thing of sticky dirty looking women...) to find that they didn't fit! I had to go out and buy larger underpants. But it wasn't only buying a larger size either. My new weight distribution just doens't work well with that...well that small amount of fabric! I work with a girl that 'just doesn't think it is right NOT to wear chongs ever and that anyone that doesn't wear them is just wrong. And while I love her I just have to think to myself...'Oh to be skinny again and think that my ass is going to stay the same shape for the rest of my life...'

These are really just random thoughts but when I was a cute thin girl I don't think I ever thought I would have a box of underwear in my closet that I can't wear and be wearing underwear that didn't make me feel randomly sexy or that matches my bra for that matter. I would have thought it was craziness too. Now I am all about comfort for my booty.

Back to the boxes though. I am so sad that I am moving this box with me. I should be giving away my fat clothes and unpacking my skinny jeans! I am not there yet though. I feel sometimes that along with boxing up my skinny clothes I boxed up a part of me...my self esteem and my random sexiness. I want that back. So I will continue working out...creating good life habits so that I can one day pull those sexy things and skinny things out of the box and enjoy them once again.

stressful situations

Do stressful situations drive you to eat? They do me.

I am just working on reminding myself of what is REALLY important and how I am going to feel after I bury my head in chocolate. Worse. I will feel worse if I eat eat eat.

So. Apples? HERE I COME!

she's back...

Well I am proud to say that I am back. I said in my last post that I was working hard at getting my mind right and back into the swing of things. I am back! yay! I am so energized and excited for this weight loss journey that I am on. I sound like a total cornball but oh well. =) I can't wait to step on that scale in December and know that I have accomplished something not many people do. I have set my goal of 70lbs and I am going to reach it! woot woot!

It is so boring being a downer that is sad about being chubby all the time! So here's a few things that I am doin...

Your Shape...

Now don't get me wrong Jenny McCarthy's voice can get pretty annoying and it is very picky about the colors you are wearing but watching myself with that little camera sure does keep me motivated...with every jiggle I work just a little bit harder. =-) I am looking for a REALLY good yoga video too. I think that yoga is something that I could grow to love. I just need the right video. I got some on netflix but they were lame so...we shall see about that.

I ♥ My Husband!

I also have had a great conversation with my husband and he is totally on board now. He is actually participating in my planning of meals and encouraging me. That is really nice. I really needed that. I can only be my own cheerleader for so long ya know? I think that everyone needs some one constant in their corner. Of course the hard work and determination has to come from with in but sometimes you just need that extra push to really get there....

Good Start...

So I am off to a good start reforming good habits, and being conscious of my food choices. I guess I will just leave out this weekend as it was July 4th and well...BBQ...cookies...ice cream...blegh...you name it, I ate it. But I had fun and to me it was worth it. However I did see a pic of myself that just reaffirmed why I am doing this.

That is my beautiful Sister-in-law Christy. Mother of two children- Hunter and Haylee. Walked a marathon that morning! Now I was wearing kind of a poofy shirt to hide my fat so that I would feel more comfy but I seriously look like I could have been pregnant. Which last 4th of July I absolutely was preggo meggo but this 4th all those people that saw me preggo last year were lookin to see how I have shrunk back to form and I do believe I got a few pity looks. So...like my last post said..moving forward!

You know this weight loss journey has really taught me the principle of routine! When I am in a good routine it is so much easier to fight those excuses that pop up to eat yucky stuff...(that makes me feel yucky) and to skip working out...) The best advice I could ever give would be to get into a good routine and create great habits.
Life happens and sometimes you have to break your routine but you can always go back to it.

That is all for today. As I get back into the swing of things I promise I will blog more. For now I am just working on getting back into those good habits that way I will have some actual results to post here!