don't want to forget this feeling...

I want to bottle up the way that I feel today and keep it in my pocket for when I need it again! Because sadly I know that my inner Gloria- gloomy face will show her ugly face sometime soon....

I did so good yesterday and today (so far) and I just feel good! I feel energized...I feel proud of myself...I feel like there isn't anything that I can't do and like the world is my wonderland.

Who would have thought that waking up at 4:40 in the morning would make me feel that way? I can tell you that most mornings when that 4:30am alarm goes off and I snooze continuously until I HAVE to get out of bed at about 5:20-ish I do not realize what I am giving up! A sense of accomplishment and happiness and contentment and drive and focus on my goals.

Hopefully I can keep this up, especially with my Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred challenge starting tomorrow.
We shall see how powerful my desire to sleep is vs. my desire to be happy. You never know at that time of morning.

So my friend Alena is cute and wonderful and she was telling me this morning her affirmations for the day and I decided to let her in on the Drop Dead Gorgeous by December challenge! I am not sure how often she will be participating with me however she is just the best and I wanted to make sure that I shared! =)

Starting Weight:
175

Goals from now until December:
140
One brag from this week:
I resisted cookies and cake all week

One thing to improve upon for next week:
Drink more water

Anyone else that wants me to post their Drop Dead Gorgeous by December Challenge photo, I would be happy to do so! =) Also make sure that you send it to http://www.halfofjess.com/ as well! =) That is where this amazing inspiration came from! =)

mOmMyHoOd iS BeAuTiFuL BiTcHeS!

even with the puffs in my hair, baby on my hip, honorary pj's uniform, spills, slips, booboos, tantrums and dirty diapers...I know that mommyhood is beautiful.


Starting Weight: 
184lbs

Goals from now until December: 
1.Lose 39lbs 
2.Become a more active, healthier, more vibrant person. 
3.♥Love what I see when I look in the mirror♥
4.Open my box of skinny clothes
5.Do the 5k in September

One brag from this week: 
I dusted off the ol' elliptical today and actually USED IT! It was fun.

One thing to improve upon for next week: 
Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred...DO IT ALREADY!!-----I joined a blog challenge to complete this. I start officially Sept 1st. 

My Big Why

For those of you that read my blog regularly you prob have noticed and been frusterated just like I have about how I have been having trouble keeping on track lately. I got to have a bonus day (we didn't have a sitter) with my son yesterday and WHEW! He is 9 months old and man o man does he wear me out! It made me realize that he is the main reason that I started this journey in the first place.

yep. this little guy the 2nd love of my life...

Becoming healthy became important to me after having him because I know that to be a good parent I need to love myself. So that I can teach him that he gets love himself and think positively about himself. I also get to be healthy and happy so that I am around as long as possible to show him 'the way'. (kind of like yoda eh? LOL) But really my cheeseball self aside...my little Oliver is my BIG WHY.

What is your big why? I want to hear all about it!

Much love,

No more snowballs!

I know that is an odd picture since it is summer and all but I realized something yesterday about myself and I am sure most of you have been through this as well. I work in an office that has a potluck every month. Every month someone is smart and brings healthy options like a salad, some grilled chicken, fruit, veggies that kind of thing.  (usually everything else is like a contest to see who can bring the most fattening, tempting and unhealthy things...which I contribute too as I always bring a dessert since I like to bake LOL) Every month I tell myself before the meeting that I will only eat the healthy things. I generally like to save my indulging for when I am with my husband since he doesn't ever eat healthy. But EVERY MONTH I say oh well just one piece of fried goodness or one dish of ice cream and ugh...before I know it that one little indulgence has snowballed into two plates of all bad stuff and I didn't even eat one healthy thing!
That is how it works with me. I can't just stop with 1 m&m that whole bag is going to be gone before I even have to time to think about it. So now that I am aware and conscious of this fact I get to do something about it. I know that I feel better when I eat better. I know that it is just my mean, fat alter-ego 'Gloria' talking when I want to snowball into wayyyyy too many calories. So now I get to sharpen my skills of saying NO! Not even just one.

Because we all know it is never just one.

I AM Powerful Bitches!

So a blog that I read regularly (http://www.molly-fluffygirl.blogspot.com/) had a GREAT post this morning from another blogger that I read regularly (http://www.halfofjess.com/)! It had a great challenge on it. I challenge you to do it as well! I also reccomend both of the blogs above. I have been very short on inspiration lately and these blogs have helped me a number of times. As Jess says on her blog...

prepare to be inspired....

Starting Weight:

184lbs

Goals from now until December:

1.Lose 39lbs

2.Become a more active, healthier, more vibrant person.

3.♥Love what I see when I look in the mirror♥

4.Open my box of skinny clothes

5.Do the 5k in September

One brag from this week:

I am an organized person, my house is clean, I have a budget created...I ROCK!

One thing to improve upon for next week:

Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred...DO IT ALREADY!!

Weigh In Day

 So I still weigh 184lbs.

Honestly I don't know what I expected! My eating habits are shit and I just can't seem to find the motivation to change them. Well I have the motivation...I mean I want to get skinny I think what I am really lacking are the balls if you will!

I read an article recently about Nutritarians and it all made sense. It felt so insanely right as I was reading it... I was dumbfounded. I seriously think that a plant based diet is right for me...however I come from a home where we eat junk food and junk food and more junk food. There are only two of us. And I know my husband isn't going to start eating well in fact he has told me that he is going to eat what he wants. And he does most of the cooking...so where does that leave me? Going around in circles like this is causing me to do nothing instead of something. Maybe I just need to bite the bullet and say sorry husband but I am going to eat good and well even if that means we eat/cook seperate meals.

Another thing that has been bothering me is that I have lost 32lbs damn it. I feel like I am the only one that recognizes this.  I don't want a lot of attention and saying this may sound vain but I think I expected poeple to watch me as I went through this journey and congratulate me and tell me I look good. I must not look good though becuase the people that see me every day have never said a thing.

I suppose the point of this post is that I am figuring out that I need to look to myself for commitment and motivation and I need to keep myself pumped up with my own encouragement. So CHEERS to me and all that I have accomplished so far. I have until December to shed these last few pounds and really turn my life around.

I think I expected that by about the half way point it would be easy. Well it's not easy but I am going to do it.

Moving Forward

I am constantly moving forward. I have one question for myself today....

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO TODAY TO GET

CLOSER TO REACHING MY GOALS?

I am going to go for a walk with my husband tonight and hit the treadmill in the gym at my apartment complex. I am going to give this whole 'running' thing a go.

Runners are hot. They are motivated...energetic and sassy. I want that. I think that I just need to quit making excuses and complaining and do it. I have been reading all of these blogs about people that are running and they seem like they have so much purpose. I have been silly thinking I could really reach my 70lbs lost goal by doing the bare minimum. That is getting me nowhere. In case you haven't noticed I haven't even lost weight in a couple of weeks. I am just maintaining.

So today to get closer to reaching my goals I am going to run. I don't know for how long. But I am going to do it.

♥

Searching for... something

I have been so... in the pits lately!


The sweaty nasty pits. Ugh. Blegh.


So I decided to take a good hard look at my life and why I was making myself so unhappy and then...FIX it! Yay!


If only it were really that easy!

I did however come up with a plan and I already feel ten thousand million times better. ( I heard a little boy on TV say 'a thousand million...' and I can't stop saying it! So cute!) I had a good talk with my wonderful husband and I am ready to take control of my life...of my attitude and my general mental condition. My hormones have really put me through it since having my son and I am sick of it. So here is the plan.


Well first let me explain this a little bit.


First I thought of what I really want in my life. What is really going to make me a happier more fulfilled person.

Balance.

I desperately need to balance everything in my life. Otherwise what will my weightloss success be worth if my life in general is a mess? I I like to use affirmations to help me reframe negative thoughts and energy so I made a HUGE affirmation for my life and posted parts of it all around my house to keep me focused on what is important. So most of what I want is spoken in affirmations. Which means in a nutshell Instead of just saying I really want balance in my life. I call out to the universe and I tell it. "Hey! I am balanced!" Because I know that my thoughts create my universe. So I have learned to think powerfully. From there I just thought about what I needed to work on to achieve that balance. And here it is.....

 I just thought of what I wanted and then I broke it down from there.... 

I AM ACHIEVING BALANCE AND PEACE IN ALL AREAS OF MY LIFE!

I am HEALTHY.

I am getting in shape.

I take loving care of my body.

I put effort in every day to feel cute and presentable.

I eat the things that give me energy and vitality and allow me to move forward with my goals.

I am ORGANIZED.

My home is a cozy, loving haven from my family. It reflects the things that are important to us.

My home is clean and organized.

My bills are paid, on time each and every month.

Billy and I are on a well planned functioning budget.

We have all of the worldly things we need.

I am at PEACE with my EMPLOYMENT.

I am at peace with my current working 'role'.

I am doing something that I enjoy.

I am able to provide for my family.

I am doing all that is necessary to improve my family's quality of life.

I am a LOVING FRIEND/WIFE, and MOTHER.

Oliver gets the best of my attention.

I am an active listener. I give my love and attention freely.

I have a fun, open, and honest relationship with my husband.

I let my husband know each day how much I love and appreciate him.