Weigh In Day/Starting Fresh

Ahhh....another weigh in day. 189lbs. I am in the 180's!

Now I just need a swift kick in the ars, becuase I did nothing to earn the poundage I lost this last week. I will celebrate the fact that I have set myself up diet wise to keep losing even when I am not working out and eating little treats I don't usually eat...but! If I can lose 1lb a week without even trying then come on Chelsee get it together!

I will repeat the beautiful quote I found last week:

"How does one become a butterfly?" "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."

So this week, like so many weeks before I get to get back in gear. However I have to smile at that becuase that is what I fully expected my weightloss journey to be. I know myself. I know that consistancy is not my strong suite! I will do really good for two weeks working out, losing that weight feeling good about myself and my baggy clothes. And then I treat myself one time and for anywhere from 1 week to 2 weeks I am totally off track. I eat things I would say no to during the good times, I sit around when I would noramlly talk myself into being active. And ya know what? I am ok with that. Becuase that is what works for me right now. I am still on track with my weight loss goals. Do I know that I could do more? Absolutely! But at least what I am doing is working. I am not going to give up on my goals becuase I have some set backs. No sir.

I do want to say one thing though...This month is FLYING by! I have until the end of june to lose 4lbs. I know I can do it, but what if I lost 40lbs by my first goal cut off? That would be nice. I would be wearing most of my prepregnancy clothes if that were the case. I could finally put away the maternity clothes that I find comfort in when a waist line is just a little too tight. I would have a brand new wardrobe! woot woot.

So. I am changing my goal. 40lbs by June 31st. 30lbs by December 31st. And I am also adding another goal. I want to be in shape. That is something that I have not really been too concerned with. I want stamina, and I want to see myself moving forward with my working out...not just gettting by and being ok with getting the minimum done becuase "At least I worked out..." I want to see that my limit is 20minutes this week and 45 minutes two weeks from now becuase I have been chipping away at it. I want to see that I can barely do a girly push up this week and in a month I can do a full man push up. That excites me. Up until now I haven't been brave enough to want those things becuase I was glad that I was at least getting up and doing SOMETHING. I want to have expectations of my work outs now. Hopefully that doesn't end up driving me away from working out in the first place lol.

So. The way that I see to do that is to complete the Jillian Michael's 30 day shred. I have it, I like it, Jillians kicks my butt! However I do not do it consistantly (again not my strong suite) so I am at square one every time I start it. I give up in the same spots every time becuase every time is basically my first time. I am not building on any kind of a foundation. So. From now until June 31st my goal is to complete the 30 day shred.

My second goal is to stay on Alli and see if it really works. I am not doing the meal plan. It doesn't appeal to me at all. Maybe it's the rebel in me but I do know that one important thing that was important to me when I started my weightloss journey was that I wanted to be able to eat the things I like. I will make small changes here and there if it helps AND keeps me happy but I do not ever want a list of No-No foods. I know that I love food so much that if I do that to myself I will gain everything back as soon as I reach my goal weight. I count calories and I usually will choose the lower calorie items but I will not sacrifice deliciousness for weight loss. And so far it has been working. (27lbs down mayne!)

So a recap I know this has been all over the place!

Woot Woot! I lost 1 lb this week. (with minimal effort...blegh)

I have some new goals.

40lbs by June 31st

1. Complete Jillian Michael's 30 day Shred to build stamina and begin the process of toning and getting in SHAPE
2. Stay on Alli until at least June 31st

Love to you and your journey! ♥

LOVE IT

"How does one become a butterfly?" “You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."

I have no idea where this came from...but I read it on a blog I follow called http://www.shewokeupfat.blogspot.com/.

I love it. I kind of rewrote it. Anyone that has gained weight should know how this feels...

"How does one become healthy?" "You must want it so much that you are willing to give up being overweight."

It makes sense to me in that way because sometimes being overweight is so much more comfortable than what I really want which is to be a thin, healthy HOTT mama.  It is comfortable to NOT work out. It is easier that way. No matter how I feel about myself the facts are that it is easier to be lazy. It is easier to be overweight and not do anything about it. I have been demonstrating that this week. And I really want to be a healthy butterfly. Not a frumpy unhappy caterpillar.

That is all. Love to you!

Things I love...and Some I don't!

Things that I hate about having gained around 70lbs....

The feeling of longing I get when I see my skinny pictures...


Packing away cute clothes that I love to wear...

Never feeling beautiful...

Blobby loose skin...yuck...

Two words...stretch marks...

When I hear...'Wow I didn't realize how skinny you were!'

How is the baby? (eyes scanning my body the whole time...)

Weird boobs....

Jiggly booty...

Back pain...

how I always feel like complaining about being fat...and yet rarely feel like doing anything about it...

Things that I love about losing weight...

How when I put my hands on my hips each time I swear I can feel more definition...

The feeling I get when I can once again wear something I haven't been able to wear for over a year before I got pregnant...(there are about 3 tubs of clothes waiting for me still!)

I feeling of confidence that I get every time I step on that scale and it shows me good results...

Knowing that I set small attainable goals for myself and REACHED them...

That I am not a lone...there are many of us out there fighting the good fight against our larger selves...

When someone notices all my hard work and says "man! you have lost weight!"...

I burst of energy I get after working our and eating right...

ahhhhh that feels better. The benefits are way better than the crappity crap crap I find to complain about. 

Bikram Yoga and other things...

So I had a little experience this week and before time goes by and I don't remember everything I wanted to say about it I thought I better blog quick on my break. Here's a hint...

I decided to give Bikram Yoga a go. Those that do not know what it is...Wikipidia says...."Bikram's Beginning Yoga Class runs approximately 90 minutes, incorporates a series of 26 postures and 2 breathing exercises, and is ideally practiced in a room heated to 105°F with a humidity of 40%."

Now if you are thinking I am insane I had a few logical reasons to put myself through this...

* There are a few people at work that love it! They rave about it...
*At the studio I went to they swear it is perfect for those that have never done Yoga and want to start...
*When I did the research online it said there are countless health reasons that it is good for you...body cleansing, blood pressure, flexibility, back problems, weight loss...the list goes on and on....
*There is a studio literally a block away from my house...
*The studio a block from my house is running a special $20 for 7 consecutive days
*I have always wanted to start doing yoga (yoga ladies have the hottest bodies and I am sure that all that flexibility doesn't hurt in the sack...I'm just sayin)
*I desperately need something in my life that I do by myself just for me my life consists of two things and two things only...Work (which I like but stresses me out quite often) and my lil Family (which I love but I can't be a caretaker 24-7)

So...with all these reasons why not right? Right. I went.

The first night my only goal was to stay in the room. And that is the advice I got from everyone I talked to. 'Just stay in the room the full 90 minutes'. So I did. I was very proud of myself. I felt dizzy and sick and I have never been covered by that much sweat EVER...But I did it. I completed a goal FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE! I didn't complete a single posture but...I stayed in the room! I am all about the small goals leading to big ones. I was going to set a goal for each class my ultimate goal to at least be finishing 7 days in a row.

After the first night I felt great...I love the idea of the 'Yoga' life style. They seem so secure in their bodies, they seem close to nature...they put 'namaste' at the end of everything....they are fit...they seem happy...they have plenty of time to meditate...and like I said that extra flexibility couldn't be hurtin' their sex lives...(sorry if that is TMI for you...hehehe) so I was excited at the prospect that if I could really wrap myself around this Bikram Yoga thing then I could have that peace, that physical fitness that I so want...among other things.

Then the 2nd night. My goal was to do one set of each posture. DID NOT WORK OUT. I was miserable the entire time. I was so out of my element. I think I probably pushed myself too hard and that is why I got so sick...I was throwing up for what seemed like forever and then I was expected to go back into the room. The entire time I was there I could not think of one thing I enjoyed other than learning the different yoga positions...I just hated it. None of those good feelings I had the night before were coming back to me. I was having a small panic attack in the bathroom after having completed 75 minutes and then yacking my brains out and knowing I was supposed to go back into that hell hole and finish... and I realized. It just isn't for me. Cut my losses and move on.

I think I am going to find a regular Yoga class though and do that. I just can't do the Bikram thing. I went through so many emotions afterward... I felt like a failure! I really wanted to do the 7 days but I am not going to be completely utterly miserable to complete 7 days of something I knew after only the second night I would never do again. It just didn't seem right.

So that was my experience. I think it is awesome the whole 'mind over body' thing but I am not good at it. I work out as best I can but I never want to do anything to make myself sick ever again. I just won't. It's not worth it to me. More power to those that do Bikram Yoga I just don't think it is for me. And hey! At least I was willing to give something new a try. I think that is a good thing.

I am still looking for that one thing for me to just get away and decompress...I know I will come up with something. I almost don't want it to have to do with working out though because I put enough pressure on myself for that anyways ya know? I want my THING to be fun...cheap and peaceful. So I will see....

I am really starting to love blogging and the feelings I get after putting my thoughts out into the universe. So much so that you can expect some GREAT BIG things from me blog-wise coming soon. Right now I am just learning as much as I can about the technical aspects of it and then I will unveil my master plans! MWA-AH-AH!

The proof is in the PJ's...

I know I know...this is not my weigh in day. Well I just weighed myself and I am pleased with the results!

191lbs!

That's right folks...I weigh less than Billy! I lost 4lbs since my last weigh in! And I also felt so good that I have taken some pictures to show my progress! It has been a while since I have taken any pics. I looked pregnant in my last ones. see...

Granted that was about 8 weeks after I had Ollie. Ok I just have to say one thing about these pics below. My first instinct was to pull my shorts up to hide that there muffin top. I didn't feel like that would be me being too honest with myself though. So here is me...25lbs down and 50lbs to go. ♥

I think that the thing that feels the best about this is that when I was getting my bag ready for our big trip to the hospital (I had it ready about a month in advance...hehehe yeah we are THOSE parents) anyways...getting 'THE BAG' ready to have Oliver and I went and bought myself these beautiful red polka dot silk PJ's. I got the largest size thinking "oOoOoOo these will be so roomy and comfy when we are in the hospital after I have the baby..."

Well I couldn't even get them on. I was so bummed in the hospital and I have tried these stupid PJ's on three or four more times since then. Well I put them on today and....

TA DA!

The proof of my progress is in the PJ's.

Love to you! ♥