Ho To Be An Effective Adult

I wish I really knew how to be an effective adult. I have been so lost recently. Not sure how I feel about anything. One of my favorite blogs that I read "The Token Fat Girl" had exactly what I needed on this fine Wednesday afternoon.After going to the grocery store to get stamps and buy myself some flowers on my lunch break I was about to seek counseling thinking that I was suffering from post partum depression or some such thing when I read this...

"Everything is related and I just wish sometimes that I could be like other people. Okay with being at the same job for the rest of their lives, okay with simple day to day security, okay with watching the same network tv shows after work, okay with never dancing, or changing the color of my hair, or how I dress, or never wondering that I'm giving enough of myself, or never accomplishing anything. I worry about losing friends, or never making new friends, or never being a truly kind or likable person. Just okay with being, just as I am for the rest of my life. I envy those people, but grateful that I'm not.

I always ask myself "will i be okay if i go my whole life without doing __________" and the answer is almost always no. But, it's not possible to do everything in one life. I worry about never making enough money to travel, to visit new cities, to visit old cities that I once loved, to own my own business, to raise a child, to eat good food. I worry about getting stuck, complacent, comfortable. I worry about being one of those women who has the same hair style for 15 years, that ones I see sobbing on Oprah makeover specials. The ones that forget who they were, their dreams and some how changing their hair, changes everything. Even though it has nothing to do with their hair."

My husband is very much like the people in the first paragraph. He is so comfortable with our life at the moment and all I can think about is how I can make it better...better by moving or staying home with Oliver full time...going back to school...figuring out how to get into our dream home...how to pay for Oliver's college. The list goes on and on. Weightloss is just one thing that keeps me up at night. The rest is the gravity of realizing that I am an ADULT! I have a life that will be looking to me for answers for the rest of his adorable little life! What if I fail!?! What if I don't teach him enough or if we are poor forever because my husband is 'happy the way we are'? Then I feel bad for not just living for the moment and enjoying my life fully as is. I have a great WONDERFUL husband (he is hott too!) and the most adorable baby boy. I have a good job and we are so lucky to have the child care of my mom and sister. I just. I don't know. I am worrying day and night.

Any who! My 23yrold life crisis aside! Weigh in was today! I have lost 4lbs in the last week! WOOT WOOT! I am so so happy! Still working on a routine that works off work and on work but apparently something I am doing is working. So today I shall celebrate my week's success. After about 5 more lbs I will weigh less than BILLY! Now that will really be a celebration! You have no idea how much it bothers me to weigh more than my husband!

Love to you! ♥ ♥

I will write again very soon! (I know it has been a while.)