hungry

I was hungry literally all day yesterday. I haven't felt like that since being pregnant. I was always hungry when I was pregnant. I was thinking about that today too. If now that I see the effects of eating whatever I wanted (except what I couldn't have) when I was pregnant if I would do things differently. Because when I was stuffing my face with Ben and Jerry's every evening (sometimes midday) I knew what I was doing. But food was so comforting to me when I was pregnant. I was wound so tight, always ready to scream at someone and I couldn't go have a beer or a calming glass of wine so I ate instead. ....Would I do things differently? No. Chocolate and candy and ice cream and waaaaaaay to much milk gave me exactly what I needed when I was a preggo maniac. Which brings me to another point...I was such a bitch when I was pregnant! LOL! I am glad that is over. In my blog yesterday I mentioned not feeling like myself and I must admit I feel so much more like myself now, after feeling like a stranger to myself for my whole pregnancy. I just don't look like myself so it is a slightly incomplete feeling of feeling like myself. Am I making any sense?

Anyways back to being terminally hungry. It is so crazy how as soon as you start monitoring what you are eating your mind plays games with you. I ate three good meals yesterday and even had some sensible snacks. I had fruit in the morning, veggies and fruit and crackers for lunch and then my mom made a delicious taco/bean concoction for dinner. But because I am not allowing myself to just snack and eat and eat all day like I am used to...or forget to eat all day and then binge all night my tummy decides I am going to feel like I am starving or something. This is where that tip I gave 'Keeping Busy' comes in handy. I did not give in to eating when I really shouldn't have been hungry until Billy and I were relaxing on the couch watching TV. I think I have hardwired myself to want food when watching TV. So I need to keep my hands busy with crafts or something because when they are just sitting there while I am watching TV they think they need to be shoving food in my face.

I did bad working out yesterday. I just kept procrastinating. I did not do my Elliptical at all. I let it get too late and then had to go to my moms for dinner and said I would do it when I got home and then...didn't. However Oliver and I did go for a walk.

Speaking of my beautiful boy I do have to say one thing...people always look at me like I am such a horrible person when I talk about how much I hated being pregnant or how horribly traumatizing giving birth was...because most women either loved being pregnant or they just don't talk about it. I love love love Oliver and I would be pregnant ten times if I had to to get him. I would do anything for him. He is the joy of my life and he makes my life so much more real than it used to be. It is amazing getting to be a part of his life. ...I just had to say that. For some prenancy was a walk in the park...for me it was more like a walk through hell in order to get to heaven. =)

So today's goal is to do my elliptical for 30 minutes...no more 20 minute crap...and to take Oliver for a walk OR do my Jillian Michaels dvd. And also to keep busy so I don't eat my way through my refrigerator. hehehe...today is a new day and I am hungry for progress! (so corny sorry!)